Speaking as a Government Employee of 17 years...

Hardee harr harr.....

That being said....

It was pretty funny!

Warren (quietly laughing to myself as I work every day to do more with less...)

On 4/19/05, Gidd Calden wrote:
> **
> Listers:
>
> Has anyone witnessed this yet?
>
>
>
>
> Scientist have discovered a new element - The Heaviest Element -
> Governmentium
>
> A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
> heaviest chemical yet known to science. This new element has been
> tentatively named "Governmentium".
>
> Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy
> neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of
> 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons,
> which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called
> peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it
> can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
> contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over
> four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.!
>
>
> Governmentium has a normal half-life of four years; it does not decay
> but instead, it undergoes a reorganizati! on in which a portion of the
> assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact,
> Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time since each
> reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming
> isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists
> to speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a
> certain quantity in concentration. This hypocritical quantity is
> referred to as "Critical Morass."
>
> You will know it when you see it. When catalyzed with money,
> Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element which radiates
> just as much energy since it has half as many peons but twice as
> many morons.
>
>
>
>
> Regards…Gidd
> This posting was submitted
> via the Web interface


--
Warren R. Baltimore II
Remedy Developer
UW Medicine IT Services
School of Medicine
University of Washington
Box 358220
1325 Fourth Ave, Suite 2000
Seattle, WA 98101
Office E: warrenb@u.washington.edu
Personal E: warrenbaltimore@gmail.com
V: 206-543-7392
F: 206-221-4745

The opinions expressed in this e-mail are in no way those of the
University of Washington, or the State of Washington. They are my
own.

**
Hey! That's supposed to be classified information.

Julie
Los Alamos National Laboratory

At 07:41 AM 4/19/2005 -0700, you wrote:


**
Listers:

Has anyone witnessed this yet?




Scientist have discovered a new element - The Heaviest Element - Governmentium

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest chemical yet known to science. This new element has been
tentatively named "Governmentium".

Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy
neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of
312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons,
which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called
peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it
can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over
four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.!


Governmentium has a normal half-life of four years; it does not decay
but instead, it undergoes a reorganizati! on in which a portion of the
assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact,
Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time since each
reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming
isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists
to speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a
certain quantity in concentration. This hypocritical quantity is
referred to as "Critical Morass."

You will know it when you see it. When catalyzed with money,
Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element which radiates
just as much energy since it has half as many peons but twice as
many morons.



Regards…Gidd

This posting was submitted via the Web interface


-----------------------------------------------------
Julie Rockwood
Los Alamos National Laboratory
IM-8 Remedy Technical Leader
(505) 667-9846 rockwood@lanl.gov


This posting was submitted via the Web interface

A Phone rings in a cubicle somewhere...

Cubicle Worker: (Picks up phone) Goodmorning - department of
administrative affairs.

Voice on Phone: Yes, hello. I'm having some trouble with form
273611003-7B-4, The one titled "Application to Keep More than One Ferret
in a Buidling Comprising Between Two and Five Private Dwellings in a
Mixed Residential-Retail Zone". Can you help me?

Cubicle Worker: I'm sorry sir, you will need to call our service desk,
they will be only too happy to help you.

Voice on Phone: Oh - I thought this was... Could you give me the number
please?

Cubicle Worker: I'm sorry sir, but if you guess it correctly, I wont
deny it.



Ric Phillips
La Trobe University
Melbourne


UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at http://www.ARSLIST.org
(Support: mailto:support@arslist.org)