**

That was funny :-)



Abdul Baytops
Remedy Developer & System Administrator
HQ AFOSI/Andrews AFB
Phone: 240.857.0912
Email: Abdulla.baytops.ctr@ogn.af.mil



From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arslist@ARSLIST.ORG] On Behalf Of Mark Blankenship
Sent: Friday, October 21, 2005 9:36 AM
To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG
Subject: OT: Friday Humor



"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out."

"Ah, that's nothin," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"

"Actually," said the 80-year -old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."

"Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old.

"No, not really I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all."

"So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?"

"No, I have one every morning at 6:30."

With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and have a movement every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?"

"I don't wake up until 7:00."

This posting was submitted via the Web interface This posting was submitted via the Web interface

**

3 guy are marooned a featureless hot island in the middle of the Pacific.
The guys are sunburned, dehydrated and delirious.
A bottle washes ashore and one of the guys opens it up and a genie pops out.
The genie who is so elated at being freed from the bottle after a 1000 years grants each one a single wish.

Genie: My good man what may I do for you?
Well, I want to be at home with my wife and kids sitting in the cool shade with a big pitcher of tea. POOF he was gone!

Genie: And what may I do for you kind sir?
I want to be at Jake's, my favorite bar, with all my buddies with a beautiful woman on each arm and all the free cold beer I want. POOF he was gone!

Genie: For being last my friend I will give you a special wish. What do you desire sir?
Dang. Its mighty lonely. I just want my 2 friends back. POOF they were back

PS
Rumor has it that the third guy was a Peregrine hack.

This posting was submitted via the Web interface

**
Mark,

WTG !!!

Off color and to the point....made my day !
Let's wait for Dan's verdict ?

Regards...Gidd

-----Original Message-----
From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arslist@ARSLIST.ORG]On Behalf Of Mark Blankenship
Sent: Friday, October 21, 2005 6:36 AM
To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG
Subject: OT: Friday Humor


**
"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out."

"Ah, that's nothin," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"

"Actually," said the 80-year -old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."

"Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old.

"No, not really I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all."

"So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?"

"No, I have one every morning at 6:30."

With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and have a movement every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?"

"I don't wake up until 7:00."

This posting was submitted via the Web interface

This posting was submitted via the Web interface

**
I thought it was quite colorful .... ;)



On 10/21/05, Gidd Calden wrote:

**
Mark,

WTG !!!

Off color and to the point....made my day !
Let's wait for Dan's verdict ?

Regards...Gidd

-----Original Message-----
From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG ]On Behalf Of Mark Blankenship
Sent: Friday, October 21, 2005 6:36 AM
To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG
Subject: OT: Friday Humor


**
"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out."

"Ah, that's nothin," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"

"Actually," said the 80-year -old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."

"Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old.

"No, not really I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all."

"So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?"

"No, I have one every morning at 6:30."

With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and have a movement every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?"

"I don't wake up until 7:00."

This posting was submitted via the Web interface

This posting was submitted via the Web interface


This posting was submitted via the Web interface

**
I've been laughing too hard to comment.

[there I have proven I still exist].

... Daniel

-----Original Message-----
From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arslist@ARSLIST.ORG]On Behalf Of Susan Palmer
Sent: October 21, 2005 11:52
To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG
Subject: [Norton AntiSpam] Re: Friday Humor


**
I thought it was quite colorful .... ;)



On 10/21/05, Gidd Calden wrote:

**
Mark,

WTG !!!

Off color and to the point....made my day !
Let's wait for Dan's verdict ?

Regards...Gidd

-----Original Message-----
From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG ]On Behalf Of Mark Blankenship
Sent: Friday, October 21, 2005 6:36 AM
To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG
Subject: OT: Friday Humor


**
"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out."

"Ah, that's nothin," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"

"Actually," said the 80-year -old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."

"Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old.

"No, not really I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all."

"So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?"

"No, I have one every morning at 6:30."

With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and have a movement every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?"

"I don't wake up until 7:00."

This posting was submitted via the Web interface

This posting was submitted via the Web interface


This posting was submitted via the Web interface

This posting was submitted via the Web interface

**



Talking about genies and faries heres one. I think the women on this list might enjoy it a bit more than the rest but its a good one so here goes....



A couple in their 60s were celebrating their 35th Anniversary in a romantic little restaurant. Suddenly a tiny beautiful fairy appeared on their table & said "For being such an exemplary married couple & being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish."



"Ooh I want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said the wife. The fairy moved her magic wand & abracadabra! 2 tickets for the QM2 Luxury Liner appeared in her hands.



Now it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment & said "Well this is all very romantic but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime, so I'm sorry my love but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than I am".



The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy made a circle with her magic wand & abracadabra! - the husband became 92 years old.



The moral of this story? Men might be ungrateful idiots But fairies are female.



Daniel Bloom wrote:

**
I've been laughing too hard to comment.

[there I have proven I still exist].

... Daniel

-----Original Message-----
From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arslist@ARSLIST.ORG]On Behalf Of Susan Palmer
Sent: October 21, 2005 11:52
To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG
Subject: [Norton AntiSpam] Re: Friday Humor


**
I thought it was quite colorful .... ;)



On 10/21/05, Gidd Calden wrote:

**
Mark,

WTG !!!

Off color and to the point....made my day !
Let's wait for Dan's verdict ?

Regards...Gidd

-----Original Message-----
From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG ]On Behalf Of Mark Blankenship
Sent: Friday, October 21, 2005 6:36 AM
To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG
Subject: OT: Friday Humor


**
"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out."

"Ah, that's nothin," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"

"Actually," said the 80-year -old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."

"Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old.

"No, not really I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all."

"So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?"

"No, I have one every morning at 6:30."

With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and have a movement every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?"

"I don't wake up until 7:00."



Joe DeSouza,
Remedy Consultant / Developer
Shyle Networks,
New Jersey.



Yahoo! FareChase - Search multiple travel sites in one click. This posting was submitted via the Web interface

** Good one Joe !!


On 10/21/05, Joe DeSouza wrote:

**



Talking about genies and faries heres one. I think the women on this list might enjoy it a bit more than the rest but its a good one so here goes....



A couple in their 60s were celebrating their 35th Anniversary in a romantic little restaurant. Suddenly a tiny beautiful fairy appeared on their table & said "For being such an exemplary married couple & being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish."



"Ooh I want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said the wife. The fairy moved her magic wand & abracadabra! 2 tickets for the QM2 Luxury Liner appeared in her hands.



Now it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment & said "Well this is all very romantic but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime, so I'm sorry my love but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than I am".



The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy made a circle with her magic wand & abracadabra! - the husband became 92 years old.



The moral of this story? Men might be ungrateful idiots But fairies are female.



Daniel Bloom wrote:

**
I've been laughing too hard to comment.

[there I have proven I still exist].

... Daniel

-----Original Message-----
From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG ]On Behalf Of Susan Palmer
Sent: October 21, 2005 11:52
To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG
Subject: [Norton AntiSpam] Re: Friday Humor


**
I thought it was quite colorful .... ;)



On 10/21/05, Gidd Calden wrote:

**
Mark,

WTG !!!

Off color and to the point....made my day !
Let's wait for Dan's verdict ?

Regards...Gidd

-----Original Message-----
From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG ]On Behalf Of Mark Blankenship
Sent: Friday, October 21, 2005 6:36 AM
To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG
Subject: OT: Friday Humor


**
"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out."

"Ah, that's nothin," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"

"Actually," said the 80-year -old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."

"Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old.

"No, not really I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all."

"So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?"

"No, I have one every morning at 6:30."

With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and have a movement every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?"

"I don't wake up until 7:00."




Joe DeSouza,
Remedy Consultant / Developer
Shyle Networks,
New Jersey.



Yahoo! FareChase - Search multiple travel sites in one click. This posting was submitted via the Web interface




This posting was submitted via the Web interface

**
I hope you don't mind one more.
A guy is stranded on a desert island all alone for ten years. One day he sees a speck on the horizon. He thinks to himself, "It's not a ship." The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, "It's not a boat." The speck gets even closer and he thinks, "It's not a raft." Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.

She comes up to the guy and she says, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"

"Ten years!", he says.

She reaches over, unzips this waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!"

Then she asked, "How long has it been since you've had a drink of whiskey?"

He replies, "Ten years!" She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on the right, pulls out a flask and gives it to him. He takes a long swig and says, "Wow!

Then she starts unzipping this long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since you've had some REAL
fun?"

And the man replies, "My God! Don't tell me you've got a computer in there?
This posting was submitted via the Web interface

The way I heard it, she says, "Want to play around?" To which he
replies, "Don't tell my you've got a set of golf clubs in there,
too!"

--Tim

--- David Yearsley wrote:

> I hope you don't mind one more.
> A guy is stranded on a desert island all alone for ten years. One
> day
> he sees a speck on the horizon. He thinks to himself, "It's not a
> ship."
> The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, "It's not a boat."
> The
> speck gets even closer and he thinks, "It's not a raft." Then, out
> of
> the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and
> scuba
> gear.
>
> She comes up to the guy and she says, "How long has it been since
> you've had a cigarette?"
>
> "Ten years!", he says.
>
> She reaches over, unzips this waterproof pocket on her left sleeve
> and
> pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it,
> takes a
> long drag and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!"
>
> Then she asked, "How long has it been since you've had a drink of
> whiskey?"
>
> He replies, "Ten years!" She reaches over, unzips her waterproof
> pocket
> on the right, pulls out a flask and gives it to him. He takes a
> long
> swig and says, "Wow!
>
> Then she starts unzipping this long zipper that runs down the front
> of
> her wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since
> you've
> had some REAL
> fun?"
>
> And the man replies, "My God! Don't tell me you've got a computer
> in
> there?
>
>

> UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at http://www.ARSLIST.org
> (Support: mailto:support@arslist.org)
>


UNSUBSCRIBE or access ARSlist Archives at http://www.ARSLIST.org
(Support: mailto:support@arslist.org)

**
I hate being 92!! I've just discovered I can't trust 'my wind'!!

(oooooooh boy, I think its time to hide)

-----Original Message-----
From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto:arslist@ARSLIST.ORG] On Behalf Of Susan Palmer
Sent: Friday, October 21, 2005 1:52 PM
To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG
Subject: Re: Friday Humor


** Good one Joe !!


On 10/21/05, Joe DeSouza wrote:

**



Talking about genies and faries heres one. I think the women on this list might enjoy it a bit more than the rest but its a good one so here goes....



A couple in their 60s were celebrating their 35th Anniversary in a romantic little restaurant. Suddenly a tiny beautiful fairy appeared on their table & said "For being such an exemplary married couple & being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish."



"Ooh I want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said the wife. The fairy moved her magic wand & abracadabra! 2 tickets for the QM2 Luxury Liner appeared in her hands.



Now it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment & said "Well this is all very romantic but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime, so I'm sorry my love but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than I am".



The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy made a circle with her magic wand & abracadabra! - the husband became 92 years old.



The moral of this story? Men might be ungrateful idiots But fairies are female.



Daniel Bloom wrote:

**
I've been laughing too hard to comment.

[there I have proven I still exist].

... Daniel

-----Original Message-----
From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG ]On Behalf Of Susan Palmer
Sent: October 21, 2005 11:52
To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG
Subject: [Norton AntiSpam] Re: Friday Humor


**
I thought it was quite colorful .... ;)



On 10/21/05, Gidd Calden wrote:

**
Mark,

WTG !!!

Off color and to the point....made my day !
Let's wait for Dan's verdict ?

Regards...Gidd

-----Original Message-----
From: Action Request System discussion list(ARSList) [mailto: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG ]On Behalf Of Mark Blankenship
Sent: Friday, October 21, 2005 6:36 AM
To: arslist@ARSLIST.ORG
Subject: OT: Friday Humor


**
"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out."

"Ah, that's nothin," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"

"Actually," said the 80-year -old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."

"Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old.

"No, not really I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all."

"So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?"

"No, I have one every morning at 6:30."

With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and have a movement every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?"

"I don't wake up until 7:00."




Joe DeSouza,
Remedy Consultant / Developer
Shyle Networks,
New Jersey.



Yahoo! FareChase - Search multiple travel sites in one click. This posting was submitted via the Web interface






This posting was submitted via the Web interface

This posting was submitted via the Web interface